Hope you all had a lovely holiday!  My eldest dareling came down with a stomach bug, and Mr. Dare worked overtime.  This added up to very little work time for me, and of course my copy edits are still calling…I did manage to send off a sneak peek of Stud Club to my agent at 3:30 this morning.  *crossing fingers*  Haven’t done a lick of Christmas shopping.  *sigh*

So, I haven’t had much time to think of a blog topic.  However, a very dear friend (whose initials might include a C and an M) is getting married very soon.  I really think we ought to prepare her for the wedding night in true historical romance fashion, by giving her “the talk.”

So I challenge you all to pass on your favorite romancelandia advice to the bride, a la “Lay back and think of England.”  Extra points to you if it involves an agricultural metaphor. 🙂  Or, since the hero of her forthcoming novel is an ornithologist, a few bird-and-bee analogies would not go astray.

8 comments to “A busy week….plus, birds and bees.”

  1. Elyssa
    · December 2nd, 2008 at 12:32 pm · Link

    Congrats to CM on her upcoming wedding! I hope the day is full of happiness, laughter, and love.

    As to the wedding night….one of my all-time favorites from historicals is: It only hurts the first time.

    And of course when the virginal, naive heroine sees the hero in all his naked glory (which a lot of times comes before the wedding night): That couldn’t possibly fit in her.

    Have a great wedding, CM! Wishing you all the best.

  2. Alice Audrey
    · December 3rd, 2008 at 9:39 am · Link

    lol. You know, even in historical times some heroines didn’t need the talk. I think CM counts as such a person. But if she wants to give me – married for 23 year – advice, I’m all ears.

  3. terrio
    · December 3rd, 2008 at 7:08 pm · Link

    Sorry to hear about the sick Dareling. Hope all is better now. And Mr. Dare is recovering from his overtime.

    I love when the advice is to just lay there and let him get it over with. As if it’s something to be endured. Grant it, I’m sure in some cases that’s true. But my guess is that there will be mutual participation and encouragement in this situation. 🙂

    Congrats to CM! Here here for the Stud Club!

  4. Kelly
    · December 4th, 2008 at 7:11 am · Link

    I don’t think the advice to just let him take control and follow his lead would work as often in this day and age as mothers once thought it would, either.

    Congratulations, CM, and may you have a long and loving marriage.

  5. irisheyes
    · December 4th, 2008 at 6:25 pm · Link

    Let’s see… It only hurts the first time… just listen to your husband and he’ll tell you what you need to do… if you have a few glasses of wine it will go easier… no crying, men don’t like tears… try to think of something else while he’s doing his business – like imagining all the ways you can redecorate his home after you move in or making a list of purchases you’ll need to make for your new home…it’s a disgusting duty but the less fuss you make the quicker it will be over… by all means give no indication that you are enjoying yourself, that’s vulgar and unladylike. Did I forget any? I tried to think of all the ones I’ve read.

    I loved the advice Annabelle’s mother gave her when she wed Simon in Lisa Kleypas’ Secrets of a Summer Night… lay back and think of his bank account… a little twist on the lay back and think of England quote! I thought that was pretty hilarious.

    I’m wracking my brain trying to come up with advice for the 21st century and the only thing that keeps popping into my head is don’t forget the AA batteries! LOL

    Congrats, CM! Wishing you a lifetime of love and friendship!

  6. Sophia Nash
    · December 5th, 2008 at 3:15 pm · Link

    Congrats to CM! Advice? Since she’s marrying an ornithologist, she could arrange for the guests to throw birdseed instead of rice. When you do that your new husband will have a jolly good time removing the birdseed from your, ahem, cleavage all the way down to your shoes! And in “The Kiss,” the heroine tells the hero that her mother told her to just think about the majesty of the family jewels during the key moments…
    Warmest wishes from Sophia Nash

  7. Janga
    · December 6th, 2008 at 11:03 pm · Link

    I’ve thought and thought, and the only things about bees I can remember are the Emily Dickinson poem about how to make a prairie and the scene in Julia Quinn’s The Viscount Who Loved Me when Kate gets stung. I’m sure CM can turn either of these into something witty.

    I’ll just quote Bill Cosby and say, “A word to the wise ain’t necessary,;it’s the stupid ones who need the advice.” CM needs no advice. But I do wish a million blessings for her and her soon-to-be DH.

  8. Tessa
    · December 7th, 2008 at 10:34 am · Link

    Thanks everyone! I’ll be on my way to the wedding in just a few hours!

    Sophia, thanks for stopping by! It’s so exciting to “see” you, and to be on the schedule with you for the EJ/JQ Book club! And I *loved* THE KISS…