Yikes. This has been a crazy-busy week. At the end of which, I have accomplished…nothing that can be quantified. Virtually zero forward progress on ALOP, and my taxes still aren’t even started. Ack. Ack. Ack.

But I feel a lot better than I did last Tuesday, which is good. Some weeks give us progress that isn’t precisely measurable, but important nonetheless.

And I found some time in there to watch a little basketball.

I just love the NCAA tournament. I’m from Indiana, and so a certain amount of basketball appreciation is required. But the reason I love March Madness is less about the basketball, and more about watching a bunch of men–players, coaches, fans–publicly display a whole range of emotion: courage, determination, exuberance, loyalty, heartbreak. It’s just riveting.

There’s no tomorrow in a single-elimination tournament; it’s win or go home. And for a lot of these guys, this is the end of their basketball career. As the final buzzer nears, it’s like the world is on the line in every shot. It’s all about those last-second miracles, like Mario Chalmers’ shot to tie the championship game for Kansas.

But mostly, I’ll admit it–I watch to see the guys cry when they lose. There are so few events at which it’s socially acceptable for a big, strong guy to just break down and cry. Sweating your heart out in the NCAA tournament only to lose at the last second is one of them, I guess.

Is there a topic here? Hmmm…

Do you like to see grown men cry? In real life, or fiction, or sports (which kind of seems like neither of the above)?

16 comments to “Oh drat, it’s Tuesday isn’t it….?”

  1. terrio
    · April 8th, 2008 at 10:18 am · Link

    My ex cried. A lot. Most annoying.

    Mayne crying when his baby was born. Puddle-inducing.

    I can handle men crying if it’s over a death, or possible death, and subdued. Blubbering just doesn’t work for me and crying over a game, a bit much.

    • Sarliel
      · November 27th, 2012 at 2:48 am · Link

      That, my friend, is a God thing. I had no idea that this was your due date, altgouhh I certainly have thought of you many times. I think God just might be using this thing, which brings me great joy.

  2. terrio
    · April 8th, 2008 at 10:20 am · Link

    Totally forgot to say I’m glad you’re feeling better and basketball is the one sport I’ve never been able to stomach. Not sure why. I’ve watched just about every other sport you can think of but can’t stand basketball.

    Though I get the life and death part of this tournament and how it’s the end for those college guys that won’t move onto the pros.

  3. Marnee Jo
    · April 8th, 2008 at 10:57 am · Link

    I don’t know. I think like Terri said. I think it’s fine over a death or at their wedding, the birth of their children. Stuff I cry at. Constant crying, crying over a game, not so much.

  4. Renee
    · April 8th, 2008 at 11:48 am · Link

    ALL RIGHT! I almost cried, I think Mr. Scott almost cried, as we were sitting on the edge of our seats praying for that 3 pointer. And then we all took a deep breath and then held it for the next five minutes, ok ten or so with all the stupid commercials. And then, we didn’t notice the tears of the losing team we were so excited over winning.

    Go KU!!!! Rock Chalk Jayhawk!!! (Can you tell where I’m from?;))

    Tessa, I wish I would have thought to embed u-tube on my blog.

    I think crying is okay with death and the birth of a child. There may be a few other things that are okay too. But I don’t cry much myself, so seeing a man cry for no reason is kind of a put off.

  5. CM
    · April 8th, 2008 at 11:52 am · Link

    I think my answer is . . . it rather depends on which grown man. 🙂

    Honestly, this doesn’t really effect me all that much. When I was growing up, my mom never cried. I have never seen her cry, not once, not even when the aunt who raised her died. She just doesn’t do it.

    My dad, however, cries on the drop of a hat.

    So I don’t think it’s such a big deal when grown men cry.

  6. MsHellion
    · April 8th, 2008 at 12:03 pm · Link

    No, I don’t like to watch men cry.

    Now if it’s about his children being born…or his parents dying (or beloved relatives)–sure.

    Over a game? No.

    Okay, the guys who probably cried when the Boston Red Sox won the World Series…I excuse them too. I mean, it HAD been like 80 years or something.

  7. Lisa
    · April 8th, 2008 at 3:11 pm · Link

    The two times I saw my husband cry made me love him even more. When our son was born and when my dad passed away. I guess it depends on the moment, but an all out blubber fest is not attractive from a man, but one or two tears I find touching.

    I have to say I’ve been down the road of sports defeat and I can understand the tears of defeat:)

    Glad you feel better Tessa.

  8. Darcy Burke
    · April 8th, 2008 at 3:12 pm · Link

    Mr. Burke cried when our cat died in February. He rarely cries (births, weddings, deaths), but he really needed it.

  9. Maggie Robinson
    · April 8th, 2008 at 3:54 pm · Link

    Two of my girls played basketball and I loved to watch them. The whole state of Maine shuts down a week in February for the state b-ball tournament, and it’s broadcast on TV.

    As for crying, it totally depends on the occasion and the man. Why am I thinking of that movie where Brendan Frazier played the super- sensitive guy (Elizabeth Hurley was the devil) in one of his wishes?Just say no to the emo boy.

  10. Tessa Dare
    · April 8th, 2008 at 6:32 pm · Link

    Wait a minute – I don’t mean to say I love to see a guy cry all the time. No emo boys for me either, Maggie, no matter how cute they are or how much eyeliner they wear.

    But the NCAA tourney, if I can be forgiven for saying it, is so much more than “just a game”! For so many of these guys, it’s the last time they’ll play for their school, or on TV, or with these teammates and coaches they’ve worked with for years. By the end of it, they’re physically and emotionally exhausted–all the highs and lows are exacerbated.

    But Darcy, isn’t it interesting how guys will cry over animals, sometimes even more than over people? Mr. Dare totally cried when our cat died. It may have been the only time I’ve ever seen him cry.

    Congrats to Renee and all the Jayhawk fans!

  11. Kelly Krysten
    · April 8th, 2008 at 9:48 pm · Link

    Sure, I’m good with grown men crying. They’re people too. But in a novel I’d prefer a few tears as opposed to wracking sobs.
    I also agree with Terri about the crying needing to be at the appropriate times.

  12. Alice Audrey
    · April 9th, 2008 at 8:03 am · Link

    I think a man who does not normally cry can be very powerful when he does. Crying over a game – only if I know it’s because all his hopes and dreams just went up in smoke, and then he better not blubber.

  13. irisheyes
    · April 9th, 2008 at 9:16 am · Link

    I’m in the camp where I don’t mind appropriate emotional tears now and then, but no blubbering.

    And I do think that the basketball tears are very valid. It’s like you said, Tessa, this is more than just losing a game. In some instances their whole life is about to change.

    I do also agree with Audrey in that whether it be male or female – if that person NEVER cries, when they do it’s that much more powerful.

  14. Mary Danielson
    · April 9th, 2008 at 7:20 pm · Link

    Glad you’re feeling better, Tessa!

    I also don’t mind a guy tearing up for good reasons – it’s nice to know that everybody has strong emotions, especially those who don’t normally show them.

    Though, I just finished a book, which I loved, but…the hero cried. A Lot.

    For good reasons, yes, but after awhile it definitely made me like him less. There is something so wrong about that, I know. I think I would have felt the same if it had been the heroine though. In fiction I like a few tears, then moving on with the story.

  15. zackzilla
    · April 14th, 2008 at 8:14 am · Link

    I Kansas’ win on Monday night quite nicely: A miracle. Coming from someone who hates KU so deeply and whose stomach is so upset right now……actually there is no description of how I feel at the moment. It is almost inhuman. Maybe this will help paint a picture: If KU was to play the devil and his merry band of minions, I would be cheering gleefully for the Prince of Darkness. Or: If KU was playing the Russians I would be screaming “I must break you” in my best Russian accent. (Incidentally, KU is both Lucifer and the Russians combined.) However; neither analogy can best describe my hatred for KU nor how I feel at this moment some two days after it happened.

    I guess the best way to describe it–for lack of a better way–is: Screw KU. Screw them, the school, their criminal AD, their retarded fan base and most of all Bill Self and that dead animal on his oval grape. Seriously Bill, with that certain raise you will be getting, I suggest the hair club for men or a nice set of shears.

    Yes, Kansas hit the miracle shot to put them into overtime where they eventually won. An obvious argument would be to say Memphis could have stepped up in OT and won the game themselves (see St. Louis fan/players/manager/front office/city/etc and the 1985 World Series). But the game really came down in regulation where Memphis couldn’t hit free throws that would have so iced this game, Coach Cal wouldn’t use his timeouts and because they didn’t foul prior to the miracle shot.

    The Tigers should not have reached that point in the first place. They could have put themselves in a position before that fateful final minute where it wouldn’t have mattered how many free throws they missed. Memphis seemed to settle into a lazy offense content to work the ball around the perimeter before settling on junk NBA-style isolation plays. When KU went into a garbage Box-and-One defense, the Tigers looked confused, never once attempting a pass into the soft middle. Of course Coach Cal could have called a timeout but was hoping to trade them in at the gift shop for some fancy second place trophy. Good thing there was one left.

    As much of a mistake for Coach Cal to sit on his timeouts, it was absolutely unforgivable to sit on them in the last minute of a championship game where his team was clearly dazed and confused. Especially to calm down Rose and Douglas-Roberts after their choke job at the free throw line. However, why in the name of all that is holy, did he not call a timeout to tell his team to foul KU in the final seven seconds when his team was up three?? This to me is mind boggling. In fact, my bruised knuckles need an answer to this question—nay—demand an answer.

    How many more times can a team can give up a game-tying 3-pointer with less than seven seconds to play before it becomes a mandatory strategy for everyone to foul? It’s completely inane. One theory is every NBA and college coach knows it’s completely inane, but they’re under orders from David Stern and the NCAA higher-ups not to foul in those situations so there will be more exciting finishes. But with the amount of money, prestige, recognition, fame, oh….and the pure fact of wanting to win, this theory is some what hogwash. Gobbletygook if you will.

    Another theory is Memphis was the only team that shouldn’t have fouled in that situation because it would have stopped the game, and the Tigers would have had to hit free throws on the other end. This doesn’t hold water for me either. Let’s say they foul Mario the Miracle Maker with six seconds left before he launches the 3, and he makes both. The Tigers inbound the ball and Kansas fouls them with something like 4.9 (or 5 seconds, but you get where I am going) seconds left on the clock. Even if they only make one of two, Kansas still has to go the length of the floor and get off a good shot in less than five seconds. Would you rather roll the dice with that scenario — as well as the possibility that either Chalmers missed one of his free throws or Memphis made both — or would you rather not foul and allow a game-tying 3-pointer? If you said foul before they shoot the 3, go to the head of the class.

    Despite Self’s worn out rug, I still can’t hate him. He is a great coach—not good—great. And the best part is he proved thousands and thousands of hypocritical KU fans who wanted him fired just two short seasons ago, wrong. Some even wanted him gone last season. Of course KU fan will tell you “not me, I always had faith in him and thought he could win.” But they are lying. They are so lying. And with the threat of T. Boone Pickens looming, we will see if Coach Self remembers two seasons ago as well.

    It’s going to be interesting to see if the Memphis-Kansas game is eventually remembered as a traumatic loss or a fantastic comeback victory. My guess is that, as time passes, we’ll end up remembering the Kansas comeback and Mario’s miracle 3-pointer. And with that, all those years of failures by Walters, Chenowiths, Pierces, LaFrentzes, Vaughns, Collisons, Hinriches, Coach Roy, losses to Bucknell, Bradley, Rhode Island were wiped away. At least for another 20 years.