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TMI Tuesday – A Quickie
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After writing that title, I realize “quickies” could make for a really interesting topic some Tuesday.
But not this Tuesday.
I’m going to be out and about most of the day, so I thought we’d try another fill-in-the-blank, since it was so much fun last time.
So complete the following: (and if you don’t celebrate Christmas… uh… edit the prompt as you wish)
I couldn’t bring myself to write it down in a letter. I certainly couldn’t ask for it in the middle of a crowded mall, surrounded by strangers. But if I could whisper one wish in Santa’s ear and know it would come true — this year, I’d ask for __________.
(And please, no one spoil the fun by saying “world peace” or “an end to hunger” and making the rest of us look like self-absorbed, uncaring fools. Sure, we all want those things, too. Assume they’re the unspoken wishes #1 and #2, and this is #3. A purely selfish bonus to reward yourself, after you’ve saved the world.)
I’m still thinking about mine…
November 27th, 2007 at 1:21 am · Link
…But if I could whisper one wish in Santa’s ear and know it would come true — this year, I’d ask for my very own literary agent action figure. You know, the one wearing the teensy little candy apple red Manolo Blahniks that bats her glued-on eyelashes and says things like “guaranteed best seller” and “stunning talent” when you press between her shoulder blades. But if Santa’s out of those, then I’d settle for a night of unbridled passion with Clive Owens in an alternate universe where he is not married to that trampy Sarah-Jane Fenton. Of course if Santa can’t fulfill that fantasy, then I suppose I might be persuaded to accept a bottle of Canton Ginger Liqueur and a pound of Moonstruck chocolates.
November 27th, 2007 at 7:11 am · Link
But if I could whisper one wish in Santa’s ear and know it would come true — this year, I’d ask for my own personal slave… er… assistant. Someone to cook, clean, do the shopping, and take care of the baby. All done cheerfully, in order to alleviate my guilt for not doing it myself.
As a pretty close runner up, I’d take a nice long vacation, sans-responsibilities, somewhere that specializes in big drinks with little paper umbrellas and lots of rum.
Or, I’ll take chocolate. Truffles, preferably. Hey, I’m a sellout, what can I say?
November 27th, 2007 at 7:34 am · Link
How about that. I’m not late this week. LOL!
But if I could whisper one wish in Santa’s ear and know it would come true — this year, I’d ask for my soul mate.
Yeah, I went sappy. But that’s the mood I’m in. So sue me. LOL!
November 27th, 2007 at 7:54 am · Link
Terrio, I’m even sappier. I tried to think up something snarky (Ioan Gruffudd on a stick, maybe?), but I really have everything I need. Now, let me get struck by lightning.
November 27th, 2007 at 12:24 pm · Link
A publishing contract. Followed very quickly by the removal of the stupid thing I did on Kristen Nelson’s blog.
November 27th, 2007 at 1:13 pm · Link
I couldn’t bring myself to write it down in a letter. I certainly couldn’t ask for it in the middle of a crowded mall, surrounded by strangers. But if I could whisper one wish in Santa’s ear and know it would come true — this year, I’d ask for an orgasm.
November 27th, 2007 at 1:44 pm · Link
Lenora – I am down for #2 and #3.
Marnee Jo – So down for that, too.
Terrio – Awwww. I really hope that comes true. (and it far more likely than Lenora or MJ’s I must say)
Maggie. 😛 You weren’t supposed to pull that selfless stuff. Sure, you don’t need anything, but don’t you WANT something?
AA – Link, please! You can’t tease like that – what did you do on KN’s blog??
Anon – hold the phone. A) Thank you for bringing this TMI Tuesday into to the realm of true TMI. B)In what sense? As in, you can always use another, there’s-always-room-for-Jell-O sense? Or as in never had one? If the latter, I think we need some intervention. Surely the collective intelligence and prurience of this blog’s readership can help?
November 27th, 2007 at 3:06 pm · Link
What’s the fun in having TMI Tuesday if you don’t take advantage of it? To answer your question, I fall into the latter category… which is why I’d ask Santa instead of any other male. *g*
November 27th, 2007 at 3:52 pm · Link
Oh, my.
I can’t actually think of anything I wouldn’t ask for. My wants are oft-stated: Time. Dogs. Trips to New Zealand.
Other than that, they’re all boring.
But if I were anon–oh my god, I would have wants. I will say this. You can teach boys to help you out with that, but if you don’t know what it is they need to do, they’ll almost certainly be of no use, because what they will do when left to their own devices is usually not quite enough.
You probably have to figure it out on your own. And a high-pressure situation almost certainly won’t help.
Much more than this I will not say at work. Let’s just try this: What have you tried?
November 27th, 2007 at 4:50 pm · Link
Anon, I’m with CM. If you wait for a guy to figure your body out all on his own, you may be waiting a long time. I hate to say it, but romance novels are horribly misleading in that respect. Maybe Santa can send you some very special toys… you know, by discreet mail order?
If that doesn’t work, have you talked to your doctor? I’m sure there are about a hundred reasons why this could be happening (or not happening, as the case may be)… maybe medications you’re on, etc. Perhaps India can back me up on that.
November 27th, 2007 at 6:52 pm · Link
I’m with Tessa and CM…. Guys need the clue in. I think most of them appreciate the assist. And, perhaps I’m way TMI here, but I think every um, experience, has it’s own character. What works one time might not be right the next. (Or is that just me?)
November 27th, 2007 at 8:22 pm · Link
I could get sappy with what first came to mind–but I won’t. :0) And as for the “real” TMI–don’t be afraid to tell your guy what you like (and what you don’t).
But if I could whisper one wish in Santa’s ear and know it would come true — this year I’d have to ask for 2–I’d ask for a long, successful, Nora Roberts-like career as a published novelist, and 24 hours to interview Jane Austen to learn the truth about her life.
November 27th, 2007 at 10:08 pm · Link
Okay, have been at my RWA meeting and missing all the TMI Tuesday fun. I’ll weigh in. Anon, if you fall into the latter category, I’m guessing you’re a female, since this is a less common complaint ammong males.
Regardless, I’m not sure how you are defining the lack of O. Many women have never had one during intercourse, or with a partner. And some women are not comfortable flying solo. Or perhaps this is the result of hormonal changes associated with aging or a medical condition. But I think this is one Christmas wish that is within your grasp.
Why not talk to your doctor about this? Who needs Santa when there are professionals waiting to help? This is likely a situation which can be remedied easily, if you discuss it frankly with your doctor. There are a host of phisiologic and other factors that may be at work and can be corrected with pharmacologic or behavioral intervenitons.
Good luck! But don’t wait for Santa!!
November 27th, 2007 at 10:12 pm · Link
And for my wish, I wish I could friggin spell!! Oh, and for an agent, and to sell my book!
But I ain’t waiting on Santa, either.
November 27th, 2007 at 11:54 pm · Link
Excellent advice, India. I knew we could count on our doc-in-residence. And you will not be needing Santa to deliver you an agent. I have complete confidence you’ll snag one of them all on your own!
I’ve decided that my secret selfish Christmas wish would be this: I want my pre-pregnancy belly back. It was never especially tight or toned, but even though I lost all my baby weight after Dareling #2, I still have this really unattractive muffin top of stretched out skin that just will not go away. Wah. Santa can have it.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:29 am · Link
I just wanted to chime in for Anon. It took until my 30s and I had to find a guy that *really* knew what he was doing. That was AFTER my divorce. It still took years after that before I could fly solo. How’s that for TMI? LOL!
So maybe if you’re kind of young, like under 30, it might make you feel better to know that it only gets better. *g*
November 28th, 2007 at 10:51 am · Link
Thank you so much for sharing that, Terrio. This is what I love about TMI and romance – it’s so reassuring to have your own experience validated, in RL or fiction.
It strikes me as terribly unfair that this is so much easier for guys to figure out than girls. And they always get the strong fingernails and pretty eyelashes, too.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:53 am · Link
First of all, I’m sitting here LMAO. When you talked about Santa sending me special toys, Tessa, I immediately thought of Santa-who-visits-this-blog, and felt my eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. And then I realized that you were referring to the white-bearded, red-robed Santa, and consequently spewed coffee all over myself. 😉
CM – I don’t know that there’s really a great deal I (or someone else) haven’t done, though, admittedly, most hasn’t been done a huge number of times. (One sort of gets discouraged.)
India – LOL! Definitely female. And the lack of O applies for all possible situation. I haven’t talked to my doctor about it, but maybe I’ll bring it up next time around… *squawks*
Terri – Truly, thank you for sharing that. As many statistics as I could look at, hearing someone actually say that they had the same issue (past tense being key) helps. Especially as I AM under 30. Don’t worry, hope reigns supreme. 🙂
Thanks for everyone’s input!
November 28th, 2007 at 3:05 pm · Link
Okay, friends, these are some pretty tall orders!
Tessa, not for nothin’ but I’d rather not take on more lumps than I already have. ‘Sides, you look marvelous to me and I’m sure Mr. Dare concurs.
Terrio – I got some great ‘uns here but I’m afraid it’s a bit GU.
Anon – I’d recommend getting your hands on some Secretssss and give them out. That’s what I did at National. Our bellhop said he was unattached (and thanked me for reminding him)so I gave him a copy of a Secrets book and suggested he used it as a learning tool. Hey, I do what I can for womenkind. Come to think of it – he was kinda cute.
As for myself, if had a few minutes with THE Santa, all I’d want is a room somewhere, far away, with one enormous chair, lots of chocolates for me to eat, walls of books, a footstool, a bottle of Port. Yeah, that’s the ticket!
November 28th, 2007 at 5:50 pm · Link
LOL, Santa –
I best this time of year must be really annoying for you! Sorry for any confusion – I would not wish my belly on you, by any means. I would, however, gratefully join you in that book-lined room with chocolate and booze. Except that I’d ruin the “alone” part for you. Hm. Could we have adjoining rooms?
Anon – that’s the spirit. Persevere. And keep us updated. 🙂
November 28th, 2007 at 7:16 pm · Link
Anon.–two words: pocket rocket.
…But if I could whisper one wish in Santa’s ear and know it would come true — this year, I’d ask for a Jude Law-type without the prediction for nannies or a$$holery.
November 28th, 2007 at 7:57 pm · Link
Ok, we’re always honest here right? And we don’t laugh at each other, right? What the heck does GU mean? LOL! I know this is going to seem obvious once someone explains it.
Anon – yep, I thought there was something wrong with me and since I’d read romances since I was 12, I really thought it was ALL fiction. But it’s not. Thank goodness. But now I know why women don’t hit the peak until 35. I would have been dangerous at 22. *g*
November 28th, 2007 at 10:25 pm · Link
Adjoining rooms would suit me to the ground, Tessa.
And Terri, GU means Geographically Undesireable. It’s when a guy factors in how far away a girl lives from where the guy lives or works.
Factoid curtosy of my deli thugs. They are an education in and of themselves.
November 29th, 2007 at 7:30 am · Link
Oh, the Deli Thugs. How could I forget about them?! Yeah, that’s quite a commute. But we have delis down here? He could relocate. LOL!
November 29th, 2007 at 1:25 pm · Link
LMAO! TMI is guaranteed to make me smile.
I’m so coming in here late.
If I could whisper one wish in Santa’s ear and know it would come true — this year, I think the first would be my RWA membership, followed by all those neat little gadgets for writers, followed by an offer for my book (first I have to finish revisions).
November 29th, 2007 at 9:03 pm · Link
I’d like the time to finish my book and the confidence to get through the submission process!
But if it had to be something tangible, I’d say a Virgin Islands vacation.
Great question!
November 30th, 2007 at 6:12 pm · Link
I’m definitely late to the party on this one. 🙂 To Anon, I agree with several other posters. Getting an idea of what “works” for you solo will help you immensely when you’re with a partner. The GoodVibes site has some quality equipment, much better than you’d find in most local sex toy shops. Good luck!
As for what I’d ask Santa, it’d have to be for someone, even Santa, to buy my old house!
December 2nd, 2007 at 5:03 pm · Link
Anon, if you’re still reading, another anonymous friend offers this advice via email:
Tell Anonymous to get the book by Lonnie Barbach, For Yourself, I think it’s called.
Alyssa G – I would so go with you on the Virgin Islands vacation. The cool thing is, I could write it off, because part of my WIP takes place there. It would be in the name of research!
Lynne – good to see you! Sorry to hear that the old house hasn’t sold, but are you enjoying that beautiful new one?
December 2nd, 2007 at 5:09 pm · Link
We adore our new house, Tessa. Thanks for the compliments, here and on my own blog. 🙂
The old one’s for sale as commercial, so it may be a little while before we’re able to unload it. There are at least a hundred reasons we’re glad to be out of that house, not least of which are the massive heating and cooling bills. Even though insulation was invented in 1973, whoever built that house elected not to use any.