And left a check, from Random House. Just in time for Christmas. I’m a paid author now. Wow.

So, I’m in the mood to celebrate. And speaking of grizzled, bearded old guys, I’m also in the mood to rename one of my characters. So, contest time!

I have a character in Goats on a Boat Surrender of a Siren (as it says in my shiny new contract) in dire need of a new name. He’s the steward of the ship, which means he’s the captain’s manservant. His working name has been “Grub” – because I wanted something one-syllable with an evocative sound, like “Smee” from Peter Pan. I chose “Grub” after picking out random syllables from Lewis Carroll’s The Jabberwocky. For some reason, I kept gravitating toward G – “gyre”, “gimble” (that was his name at one point), “grabe”. But alas, I already have two other characters whose names start with “G” – not least of all, the hero, Gray. So I need a name with a different evocative sound. His primary characteristics are a flair for theatrics and a lot of hair:

Surely there was a man in there somewhere, Sophia thought. Somewhere under all that hair.

The hunched, ancient steward shuffled down the narrow staircase, whistling a jaunty tune as he went. She followed, treading gingerly on the bowed boards. As her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, she took in the greasy, gray tangle of hair that hung midway down the man’s back, the grizzled froth of beard that extended nearly as far down in front, the lightly furred forearms exposed by his loose checked tunic.

Heavens, even the tops of his bare feet sported a thick growth of hair.

“’Ere we are, miss,” he announced. “Ladies’ cabins.” He pushed aside a thin curtain of dark fabric, and they entered a small, low-ceilinged chamber with a round table and chairs occupying the center. Sunlight streamed into the space from a skylight above. Four doors opened off the small room, two on either side. The steward crossed to the door marked ‘Seven’ and opened it with a flourish. “Your berth, miss.”

So, what should I call this guy? Kindly list your one-syllable suggestions! Get creative with those Scrabble tiles. Something slightly onomatopoeic would be nice.

I’ll leave the contest open through Sunday, and I’ll choose two winners – one at random, one for my favorite suggestion – each will receive a $20 gift certificate to the online bookstore of his/her choice.

Have a great weekend, everyone!


32 comments to “Santa Claus stopped by my house yesterday… (plus Contest!)”

  1. J Perry Stone
    Comment
    1
    · December 13th, 2007 at 10:29 am · Link

    I see him as an “Itch.” Itch Somethingson.

    He sounds it, after all.

    Or maybe “Smudge,” the name of the wooly lamb in my kid’s favorite James Herriot story.



  2. J Perry Stone
    Comment
    2
    · December 13th, 2007 at 10:30 am · Link

    Last but not least, Tessa…

    many CONGRATULATIONS on your stocking stuffer. Yay. You’re official.



  3. Harris Channing
    Comment
    3
    · December 13th, 2007 at 12:28 pm · Link

    What about Clump? Pelt? Ham? Jib?

    Wow, that was fun. Good luck Tessa and CONGRATS to you!

    ~Harris.



  4. Tessa Dare
    Comment
    4
    · December 13th, 2007 at 12:52 pm · Link

    Oh those are good. I am rolling with laughter already.

    Keep ’em coming, ladies!



  5. Anonymous
    Comment
    5
    · December 13th, 2007 at 1:36 pm · Link

    Mat, Ruff, Thatch, Narl, Scrag. Or how about going for the opposite, like Seal.

    Congrats on being a real-life, paid author!



  6. terrio
    Comment
    6
    · December 13th, 2007 at 2:20 pm · Link

    I did a little playing in thesaurus.com but didn’t come up with stuff as good as these. I like Stark (syn for bald – hehe) and Vim since he has that flair for theatrics.

    Maybe Trim, Fringe, Mop, Mane, or Pez.

    Wonder if this is how Dickens did it. LOL!

    Congrats, Tessa. And how nice to get it right before Christmas.



  7. Darcy Burke
    Comment
    7
    · December 13th, 2007 at 3:27 pm · Link

    It as in Cousin. Sorry, had to go there.

    The hairy feet made me think of hobbits. Maybe Hobb? Or Cobb?

    What if you went for irony and called him Frill or Spiff or Swank?

    I love naming so I’ll probably be back. Congrats on your check! Tell us what trinket you’ve splurged to buy yourself. I’d like a purse I’d never, ever buy myself normally. Actually, maybe not. I’d probably set it down in something and stain it immediately.



  8. Sara Lindsey
    Comment
    8
    · December 13th, 2007 at 4:16 pm · Link

    Mack
    Fletch
    Fitch
    Fritz
    Fitz
    Frog
    Polk (wasn’t he our fat president?)
    Pork
    Vern
    Wags
    Wart
    Curl
    Coop
    Dugs
    Lump
    Lurch (to continue the Addams family theme)
    Crumb
    Snugs
    Tiny (two syllables, I know, put a likely nickname)
    Bit
    Crabbe or Goyle (I know it’s a G, but it’s HP!)
    Dart
    Shaw
    Gum (I know, another G)



  9. J Perry Stone
    Comment
    9
    · December 13th, 2007 at 5:33 pm · Link

    Nits.

    Because if he’s hairy in the 19th cent., lice city.



  10. Sara Lindsey
    Comment
    10
    · December 13th, 2007 at 5:54 pm · Link

    Is “no name as of right now” fat or skinny? I can’t tell from the excerpt… but for some reason I thought he was fat…

    Theater names:
    Booth
    Brome
    Bunn
    Kean
    Kyd
    Clyde
    Clive
    Cooke
    Rowe
    Brin (for Richard Brinsley Sheridan)
    Nashe
    Peele



  11. Renee Lynn Scott
    Comment
    11
    · December 13th, 2007 at 5:59 pm · Link

    First, Congrats!!!! What a great Christmas gift.

    Some of these are obviously opposites of the man’s character, others well they just sounded “sailory”.

    purge
    whit
    whim
    crunch
    straight
    limp
    hack
    swab
    plank
    thump
    gimp(yeah I know g)
    swift
    limp

    Okay I’m done. I don’t think I repeated any.



  12. Elyssa Papa
    Comment
    12
    · December 13th, 2007 at 6:28 pm · Link

    In a nod to Goats on a Boat, why not give the character formerly known as Grub a name based on Goats?

    Nanny (female goat)
    Doe (female goat)
    Billy (male goat)
    Buck (male goat)
    Bleat (goat noise)
    Bagot (a type of goat in Straffordshire)

    Or a synonym for Jabberwocky or rather gibberish:

    Scat



  13. Elyssa Papa
    Comment
    13
    · December 13th, 2007 at 6:29 pm · Link

    Oh and congrats on the Random House paycheck!!!



  14. Maggie Robinson
    Comment
    14
    · December 13th, 2007 at 7:07 pm · Link

    Monk.

    And yay for a well-timed check!



  15. Tessa Dare
    Comment
    15
    · December 13th, 2007 at 10:37 pm · Link

    ROFL. I was liking the sound of Crabbe – has that maritime connection, you know. Then I read J Perry’s lice comment, and it took on a whole new meaning… ick.

    Hey, maybe Icke?



  16. Sara Lindsey
    Comment
    16
    · December 14th, 2007 at 8:13 am · Link

    Speaking of “Icke” – scat could be read in a really gross way, Ely.

    And it’s Crabbe, not Crabs… besides, this is historical romance… no one had lice! Well, maybe villains…



  17. Elyssa Papa
    Comment
    17
    · December 14th, 2007 at 11:09 am · Link

    Don’t know if this would really play that well into your novel… but what about:

    Phorcys (a sea god or the old man of the sea and supposedly the father of the Sirens)



  18. CM
    Comment
    18
    · December 14th, 2007 at 2:37 pm · Link

    Crabbe is also Crabbe of Crabbe and Goyle, and so may have other connotations to people.



  19. Tessa Dare
    Comment
    19
    · December 14th, 2007 at 3:22 pm · Link

    LOL, CM – I think that’s why Sara suggested it in her original message.

    Actually, right now “Fitz” is appealing to me. As well as “Frog”, for an odd reason.

    Ely’s suggestion of “Buck” has its charms, too. Hmmm.. .

    I think I need more choices. *wink*



  20. Elyssa Papa
    Comment
    20
    · December 14th, 2007 at 4:19 pm · Link

    Ohhh… what about:

    Wink (*g*)

    Tuck
    Hodge
    Ash

    Going off the grizzly and the hair:
    Bear
    Fuzz

    If you’re a fan of Guns ‘n’ Roses (and who isn’t LOL):
    Slash
    Axl



  21. Matthew
    Comment
    21
    · December 14th, 2007 at 4:40 pm · Link

    Talking about GnR and musicians, we can also add Duff, Gilbey, Reed, and Flea of RHCP.



  22. Tessa Dare
    Comment
    22
    · December 14th, 2007 at 4:49 pm · Link

    LOL, Matthew – that RHCP idea just gave me an image of the-character-formerly-known-as-grub dressed in nothing but a sock. I wish to poke out my mind’s eye now.

    Maybe I should go with what Anthony Kiedis named his kid: Everly Bear, was it? It could work…

    Something vaguely piratical might be good. Bones or summat. Except not Bones, because that’s too Star Trek. Ooh! Maybe Kirk? Or Spock? Suppose I can’t get away with Data or Quark.

    *Tessa shuts up before she reveals yet more geekiness*



  23. Elyssa Papa
    Comment
    23
    · December 14th, 2007 at 5:47 pm · Link

    Don’t know if this list will help, but am procrastinating and this is fun right now…

    If you’re going to go piratey, what about:

    Sparrow (in a nod to Captain Jack Sparrow)

    One-Eyed Willy (The Goonies)

    Barbary

    Smugg (shortened form of smuggler)

    Jack Tar (a sailor)

    Prow (the nose of the ship)

    Scally (shortened form of scallywag)

    Squiff (squiffy means tipsy)

    Swab (although don’t know if you want to bring Q-tips into the book)

    Mizzen (the middle of the ship)

    Boots (for pirate booty)

    Rum (pirates drink this usually, right?)

    Leon (galleon) — this seems so random now that I’ve typed it.

    And every name that I came across in my search that I liked started, of course, with a “g.”



  24. Elyssa Papa
    Comment
    24
    · December 14th, 2007 at 5:53 pm · Link

    Actually, I think you could get away with Quark…

    As long as he doesn’t transport himself.



  25. Sara Lindsey
    Comment
    25
    · December 14th, 2007 at 9:52 pm · Link

    More?! You’re on!
    Brill
    Krill
    Coot
    Cliff
    Cragge (if Crabbe is too HP)
    Dash
    Drake
    Dane
    Mash
    Flash
    Hull
    Vern



  26. Santa
    Comment
    26
    · December 14th, 2007 at 11:28 pm · Link

    Gopher comes to mind and please tell me you at least heard of ‘The Love Boat’ and so to keep with that particular trend:

    Doc
    Stubing
    Ike

    Yeah on the early visit from Kris Kringle.

    Hey! Kringle!



  27. Tessa Dare
    Comment
    27
    · December 15th, 2007 at 12:32 am · Link

    Santa, Kringle isn’t bad at all! Hmmm…

    Sara and Ely, your lists are cracking me up. They’re starting to sound like lists of Santa Claus’s second-string reindeer.



  28. Maggie Robinson
    Comment
    28
    · December 15th, 2007 at 8:47 am · Link

    Minch
    Smirch
    Cratch
    Plunk
    Fletch
    Bunk
    Smollet (I know, 2 syllables)
    Smegg
    Smith
    Burke
    Smoot
    Smitch
    Slipp
    Stern
    Stark
    Sloat
    Stopp!



  29. Lindsey
    Comment
    29
    · December 16th, 2007 at 10:21 am · Link

    Aw, I liked Grub! Chow? Eats?

    Cog, Depp, Dub, Firth, Fluke, Furl, Jib, Jig, Lub, Lugg, Nip, Pew, Rog, Stubb(s), Tink, Happy, Sleepy, Dopey…



  30. susan w.
    Comment
    30
    · December 16th, 2007 at 11:34 am · Link

    I’m crap at this, but here goes. To me, the greatest one-syllable name in English literature is Pip (Dickens) and the best two-syllable name is Queequeg (Melville). So they’re out.

    Ok, here are my nominations for booby prize:

    BEAVER — (A perfectly well-named college capitulated and changed its name to Arcadia. I see we reappropriate the word!)

    SMEE — This has something to do with a cat, and it also sounds vaguely familiar as if it’s already been used on some sea-faring yarn. I see an eye patch. I see a silver hook. I see I’ve plagiarized.

    Just keeping up my end of the conversation.

    Susan



  31. doglady
    Comment
    31
    · December 16th, 2007 at 6:34 pm · Link

    Congrats on the paycheck, Tessa! I hope you photographed it for the scrapbook! If it has not already been suggested. how about “Snip” or “Snick”? If the man is really hairy and his fellow swabbies give him grief over it they would constantly be creeping up on him and whispering “snip” or “snick” in his ear along with a hand imitation of scissors. It would annoy the dust out of him, BUT it would stick!



  32. Sara Lindsey
    Comment
    32
    · December 16th, 2007 at 10:17 pm · Link

    Cutty?
    Barb – you’ve got barber and Barbary pirates with that one
    Smog (along the lines of grub)
    Wabe (back to Jabberwocky)