Okay, another topic brought to you by special request of Mr. Dare.

Inquiring men want to know – what is it about bad boys? Why are women attracted to those dangerous, hell-raiser types, even though we know we’d be better off with someone respectful and principled and caring? Why do we cheer for the girl to pick Sawyer over Jack, Wolverine over Cyclops, Rhett over Ashley, Han Solo over Luke Skywalker? And why-oh-why didn’t Andie go to her prom with Duckie?

My initial idea, although I’m open to argument, is that it’s not too different from why we love the tortured heroes. There’s just something about that fantasy that a woman’s love can tame/reform/save/otherwise bring low the most jaded, arrogant cad – it’s irresistible. Then there’s the element of danger – so sexy and thrilling.

My current hero is a bad boy who’s like Sawyer and Wolverine and Rhett and Han Solo all rolled into one. I love, love, love the bad-boy hero. Perhaps it’s because I never got my bad-boy fix in real life. Seriously, I’ve searched my memory and come up blank. To my shame, I’ve actually never dated a single bad boy, although I’ve attracted some very strange ones. The closest I can think of is the gothed-out headbanger guy in high school who wrote me a 9-page letter in scripty handwriting to declare his undying love for me. I turned him down. I already had a date for the prom with the senior class valedictorian. How lame is that? (And after I turned him down, he wrote me a 12-page letter telling me what a bitch I was!)

So the TMI question for today: Make up for my deficiencies and share your baddest “bad-boy” story. Come on, you know you have one. And I actually have well-formed suspicions of who has the best.

Oh, and if you have any insights for Mr. Dare on why women find bad boys so delicious, feel free to share those, too.

19 comments to “TMI Tuesday – Bad Boys”

  1. Lenora Bell
    · May 29th, 2007 at 3:25 am · Link

    Oh goody, I’m the first one. That means that everyone else is still sleeping because it’s 3:00 AM over there.

    Here goes…TMI. During college I went through a piercing phase and dated a “body modification artist” who was the ultimate bad boy–tattoes, motorcycle, leather…the whole works. I didn’t let him modify me too much–but I did try my hand at piercing him, and pushing a needle through flesh is strangely exhilarating. Hey, you asked for it!

    In my experience, bad boys are like sneaking honey dijon Kettle chips with butter pecan Haagen Dazs at midnight–the first few bites are guiltily blissful, but the inevitable belly ache makes you wonder if it was worth it. Luckily, I was able to kick my bad boy habit easier than my chips and icecream one, and now I’m settled down with my very own Ducky.

    So you can tell Mr. Dare that the allure of the bad boy is pure fantasy for me now. I get all my rebels without a cause from books. All the bliss and none of the guilt.

    p.s. Your new hero sounds amazing, Tessa. I can’t wait to sneak a peep.

  2. Tessa Dare
    · May 29th, 2007 at 8:12 am · Link

    Ooh, great story Lenore!

    It is a great tragedy of my life that I never dated a guy with a motorcycle. Now Mr. Dare wants to buy one, and of course I won’t let him. The danger loses its appeal they guy’s the father of your children. I shall console myself with Haagen Dazs.

  3. Kelly Krysten
    · May 29th, 2007 at 10:22 am · Link

    I don’t know that I have a Bad Boy story. But I did date a Just plain mean guy. I guess the fact that he turned out to be addicted to cocaine could earn him the badge though…
    But the only reason I dated him in the first place was that everyone told me I was too good for him, and I thought “No way!”
    I don’t think the Bad Boy is such a grand thing in RL.
    But in fiction it’s always just fun to see the mighty fall.

  4. Alice Audrey
    · May 29th, 2007 at 1:25 pm · Link

    Tessa, I’m sorry, but this is a little too much TMI for me. I don’t dare tell you a thing.


  5. Tessa Dare
    · May 29th, 2007 at 1:56 pm · Link

    Alice, you tease! That bad, huh?

    You know … the blog does allow anonymous comments.

    And Kelly – a crackhead? Uh, yeah – that’s the kind of bad boy I don’t mind missing out on.

  6. Darcy Burke
    · May 29th, 2007 at 2:02 pm · Link

    I love me some bad boys too and I think it’s part reform, part hero worship. Bad boys can do ANYTHING. Even more than a typical hero because the bad boy isn’t weighed down by morals or fairness.

    Sadly I don’t have a bad boy story either, but I got married at 21 so my experience is somewhat limited! I will say that Mr. Burke has some qualities that would lend him to being a bad boy if he had to and I’m certain those qualities are part of his attraction for me.

    Tessa your hero sounds delish!

  7. India Carolina
    · May 29th, 2007 at 2:26 pm · Link

    I have a bad boy story…or two…okay three! But if I told you, a respected neurosurgeon would lose his “respected” status! I’ll have to pull a CM on this one and let you use your imaginations.

    Why do we like bad boys? Because there so danged HAWT!

  8. India Carolina
    · May 29th, 2007 at 2:28 pm · Link

    I simply cannot spell!

  9. Maggie Robinson
    · May 29th, 2007 at 3:31 pm · Link

    I have come to the somewhat depressing realization that I have mostly only dated good boys (Mr. R was an actual Eagle Scout, for example). But there was a bad boy named Christopher who I had kind of a thing with. He’d been to reform school for a spell, quoted poetry, was dark and moody (although he was cute and blond) and an unbelievable kisser. I kept seeing him between good boy break-ups, but the one time we finally tried to “do it,” we collapsed in laughter because the mechanics became impossible for some reason. We decided to just stay friends.We lost touch when he moved to California (watch out for him, Tessa).

  10. Ericka Scott
    · May 29th, 2007 at 3:54 pm · Link

    I think we love bad boys because they have attitude and self-confidence galore. . .

    I married a guy that I thought was a bit of a baddie. . . and he was Greek too, so he had the hawt looks too. But, in the end… I learned that baddies just don’t reform. They go on to make some other woman’s life simply miserable.

    I’m now married to my “Ducky” and couldn’t be happier. But, every once in a while he comes up with a “baddie” comeback to something and I wonder if there is a bad boy hidden somewhere deep inside that makes him just soooo irresistable (to me anyway!)

  11. Lady Leigh
    · May 29th, 2007 at 4:29 pm · Link

    I totally think it is the danger/excitement thing that makes us love bad boys. The thrill of it, the unknown, not playing by any rules, and the broken heart to be mended. Good boys just don’t make my heart race.

    I dated a bad boy- Motorcycle, dreadlocks, guitar player. In the end, though, he was a sweet-heart and sensitive artist. LOL. I have other BB’s in my past- but that all just turned out… bad.

  12. terrio
    · May 29th, 2007 at 4:52 pm · Link

    It is so funny that you pick this topic today. I actually went on a first date this past weekend with a guy that is your typical nice guy. Cute, clean cut, good job, own home – the works. And he wants to go out again which is great. Except I just don’t physically feel any attraction.

    Then today, I have to have my truck towed (third time in four days but that’s another story) and this guy steps out of the tow truck. Black work boots carelessly left untied, camo pants, old t-shirt, tats and goatee. I nearly jumped him. In fact, I came very close to giving him my number. I did make sure that when I signed his book that I might have bent forward and maybe given him a little show. *g*

    I really need to change this habit. My ex-bf was a bad boy. Bass player, long hair, very intense. And incredible in bed. I think the incredible in bed part – and yes you can tell just by looking at them – might be the clincher. LOL!

    And Mr. Dare is taken so he should not be worried about what other woman want in a man!

  13. Kelly Krysten
    · May 29th, 2007 at 6:11 pm · Link

    Yeah, he was a crackhead. REALLY unattractive. I was a teenager and was completely shocked.lol. Guess, maybe I should have listened when people said to stay away from him.
    Ya know, I also had this guy friend that was the basic good guy. Though he whined and moaned so much about women wanting only bad boys that it was fairly annoying. I think women stayed away because of the whining, not so much the ‘nice’ thing.
    And Bad Boys never whine!!!

  14. Sara Lindsey
    · May 29th, 2007 at 7:00 pm · Link

    When I was working on a film last summer, I met a real-life rake… but let’s call a spade a spade and just say that he’s a bad-boy man-whore. And yes, he was HAWT… but the fact that he didn’t believe that anyone with a Y chromosome was capable of fidelity (though he expected his girlfriend or wife to stay faithful since we, of course, don’t suffer from the same hormonal urge to spread our seed…) was a major turn-off! I’m pretty flexible about being attracted to good boys/bad boys – so long as he’s hot!

  15. CM
    · May 30th, 2007 at 3:31 am · Link

    No real-life bad boy stories for me. The best I can manage is the boy who “kidnapped” me after school and made me play video games with him.

  16. Tessa Dare
    · May 30th, 2007 at 7:58 am · Link

    Sorry to disappear on you all yesterday – I had a date with bad boy Captain Jack Sparrow. Oh, and Mr. Dare was there, too. 🙂

    Darcy – “not weighed down by morals or fairness” – great description of the bad boy.

    India – come on, another tease? It’s not as though you need to name names. And that surgeon’s reputation in certain circles could only increase.

    Maggie – a reform school poet? Oh, sigh. How could you resist. I’m a bit confused by the ‘physical mechanics’ failure. Could he have been hanging out with Kelly’s druggie?

    Ericka – A Greek bad boy? Gee, that would be hard to resist. But I loved your comment about how they don’t reform – they just go on to make someone else’s life miserable. That’s where the fiction part comes in!

    Leigh – I think we all love to believe we’ll uncover the sweetheart beneath the swagger – that’s definitely part of the bad-boy appeal. Glad you found your good boy to settle down with, though!

    Terri, I am LMAO at your tow-truck fantasy. And wondering yet again what that bass player could have done that would outweigh his other, em, talents. Must have been very bad. But I agree that you can tell almost immediately whether it’ll be good with someone – I’m not sure it’s the bad boy/good boy thing, though. It’s just that the chemistry is either there, or it isn’t. The second time I met Mr. Dare, we gave each other a friendly hug to say ‘hi,’ and neither one wanted to let go.

    CM – OMG! Finally, a week you don’t put us all to shame. I was sure you’d come out with a story of your summer on the road with a biker gang!

    And see, Sara – that’s exactly the kind of guy we all know we should RUN from in RL, but we can’t resist the fantasy of seeing him “tamed” in a novel.

    My boy Gray has a bit of the man-slut about him. But he doesn’t like it that he’s that way. I should say, I think I may have exaggerated his bad-boyness. He’d like to think he’s really bad – and at one point in his life, he really was – but he’s already on the road to self-improvement. His heroine is his reward, not his savior – which may be not exactly the fantasy everyone’s used to. Oh well.

  17. Kelly Krysten
    · May 30th, 2007 at 10:57 am · Link

    You know Tessa, I like the sound of Gray. Reminds me of Eloisa’s Mayne. He was already reformed, Josie was his reward. That’s fun to read!!!

  18. terrio
    · May 30th, 2007 at 12:39 pm · Link

    LOL! Tessa – the tow truck guy was real not fantasy. Not that I didn’t add some fantasies to the reality later on….

  19. Tessa Dare
    · May 30th, 2007 at 1:10 pm · Link

    Oh, Terri – I understood that the guy was real. The fantasy was everything that didn’t happen (but could have?)!

    Kelly – Gray and Mayne. Hmm. I don’t know that they’d have much in common beyond being reformed man-sluts, but yeah – there’s a definite similarity!